15 Most Ridiculous Suits And Outfits For Dogs

September 19, 2019

French-maid

Dog owners have a lot of fun purchasing customized and truly adorable items for their beloved pups.

From decorated leashes to doggie clothes that provide warmth on cold winter walks, there is an entire industry catering to dog owners who pamper their pooches.

As more people treat their pets like family, yet another trend is dressing your dog up in costumes. While some costumes created for dogs are truly hilarious and cute, some are nothing more than outright embarrassing.

If you want to keep your dog from being humiliated this Halloween season, avoid the following dog costumes.

15. French Maid

“Has someone made a mess?”

Fetish costumes and your dog, together at last. Put the “best” in bestiality with an outfit that will inspire conflicting emotions in canine and human alike.

And why stop there? Wear a matching outfit and give the men at your Halloween party their most awkward erections since Junior High.

14. Easter Bunny

Easter-bunny

The Easter Bunny is supposed to brings us joy and Easter eggs, not sadness and pity.

This particular dog costume will make your canine regret the day he was born, whilst making you check on him every 10 seconds to ensure the thing didn’t get ripped to pieces.

Also, if your dog needs to urinate while wearing this, you are in for a treat.

13. Samurai Dog

Samurai-dog

If honor and glory is what you like, the samurai dog costume is what your dog needs to fulfill his destiny, right? Wrong!

This thing not only looks bad, but the humiliation and emotional pain your dog will endure while wearing it, is beyond the shame of running away from a battle.

In short, it’s not worth it.

12. The Batdog

Batdog TS

Thought “The Dark Knight” was only going to influence human costumes, didn’t ya? Well, think again.

America’s trendiest and most plugged-in pooches will be donning a highly flammable version of The Caped Crusader’s skin-tight costume.

While your dog may look more intimidating wearing this, it is clear, deep down, that Batman’s foam thalidomide arms are not doing anything to boost his confidence.

11. Rasta

Rasta-dog-TS

Oh good, now we can make our dog look stupid and stereotype an entire spiritual movement. It’s perfect for the value conscious, morally bankrupt pet owner.

Look into the eyes of Bark Marley there and you’ll see confusion and fear writ large. This poor, simple creature doesn’t know why it wears a hat, shirt and fake human hair, nor even what these things are.

But it knows it is wrong, as sure as it knows kibble tastes good and balls must be chased. It looks through douchey shades, darkly, and sees truths it was not meant to know.

It sees that its fellow living beings are judging it. It sees the existential horror of its tragically brief lifespan.

10. Hot Dog

Hot-dog-Deposit

No one wants to imagine his or her special little dog as a food item on anyone’s menu.

However, a humiliating dog costume will transform your dog from a canine to the meaty goodness that is a hot dog.

Sure, sure, a hot dog in a hot dog. Cute, right? Wrong! This is stereotyping at its most blatant.

Unless you want to joke around about having your dog for lunch, bypass this ridiculous costume and other food costumes like it.

9. Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders-TS

Can we get an “N?” Can we get an “O?” What does that spell? NO!

Even though cheerleader costumes are popular among the human kind, you canine will be less than thankful is you put him in this costume.

Just imagine that you had to wear something like this – too tight, movement-restraining, and adding an extra set of arms to your four-limbed body… If those morbid arms holding pom-poms don’t freak you out, we don’t know what will.

8. Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz

Dorothy-from-The-Wizard-of-Oz

Characters from beloved childhood stories have served as staple costumes throughout the years.

Although plenty of humans have been dressing up as Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” for Halloween for years, your dog will not enjoy the experience.

In fact, when you put a dog in a blue dress and complete the look with those famous brown pigtails and that basket, she will be truly humiliated. Perhaps your dog would prefer if you dressed up as Dorothy and she could be Toto instead.

7. Yoda and Other “Star Wars” Characters

Yoda

You may love “Star Wars,” but it does not mean your dog has to dress up as a character.

The Yoda dog costume is a pretty embarrassing one to force your dog to endure, especially since it sits on the front of his body only. Your dog’s front paws will slide through Yoda’s feet.

However, the hands hang on the sides of the costume, and your dog’s head pops through the top. This creates an awkward costume that does not look right unless it is viewed from the front because your dogs two feet will be exposed behind it.

6. Schoolgirl

Sexy-Schoolgirl

Yet another human costume that does not translate at all to a dog is the sexy schoolgirl costume.

This one comes with a short plaid skirt, along with a white blouse and plaid red tie to match the skirt.

Again, while this may be attractive on a young woman and can serve as a fun, sexy outfit for a Halloween party, it is highly doubtful that your dog will be proud of herself in this look.

To make matters worse, this Halloween costume even comes with a matching bow that you can place on your dog’s ear. Unless you want your pup to look like Britney Spears in her “Baby One More Time” music video, avoid this costume.

5. Bee costume

Bee

To bee or not to bee? That is the question.

Actually, it’s not a question, cause the answer will always be no. With this costume comes extra embarrassment, because one of the worst things you can dress your dog up in, is another animal.

Is he an insect? If so, what kind? Is he a dog, or a child?

These are some of the many questions running ceaselessly through this dog’s mind. Save him from his misery, avoid this outfit in a five-mile radius.

4. Jester Dog

Jester-Dog

If you’ve ever performed stand-up comedy, then you know all too well the emotion flashing across this dog’s face.

His Jester Cap says “I’m here to entertain you”, while his expression reads “Please, please take me out of this Jester’s Cap.” Which, in itself, is entertaining.

We’re pretty sure those bells are going to train him to cry on command, so that’s probably a good thing.

3. Pirate Costumes

Pirate-costume

Yarr, matey. Yes, let’s put an eye patch and hook on our pets, because what dog needs to walk and have depth perception?

Even if your dog actually is missing an eye and paw, and for some reason you want it to suffer more, you should probably look elsewhere for your sadistic pleasures.

There is a wide variety of pirate-themed dog outfits available–you can choose a simple costume with a hat and eye patch or you can go all the way with a costume that features your dog as one pirate carrying the front end of a treasure chest.

Not only are the hats uncomfortable for your pup, but covering one eye with an eye patch can also make it difficult for your dog to see properly. Besides blinding your pet, humiliation is sure to follow.

2. Astronaut Costumes

Astronaut-TS

Your dog has absolutely no intention of going into outer space.

In fact, he or she probably feels just fine right here on Earth. Therefore, there is no reason to subject him or her to an embarrassing astronaut costume.

These costumes cover the majority of your dog’s body and some even feature a helmet which is very uncomfortable for a dog.

1. Bride and Groom Attire

Bride-and-Groom

Dogs do not have marriage laws to contend with, and they would probably keep that way if they had the choice.

Dog wedding costumes also tend to be bulky which makes it more difficult for your dog to move around and be comfortable.

Some canine bride costumes are nothing but layers of lace from head to toe.

Now, do you, Buster, take Spot to be your lawfully wedded bitch? Wuff.

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